Ripe-Almost-Mush

I’m starting to feel a bit stale and moldy here, unable to commit to anything and unable to move forward with anything. I’m like a piece of oily nothing. Along the way, I experience life happening around me: friends becoming homeowners, loved ones breathing their last breaths, vows of forever getting sealed, and firstborns taking their first steps. They all seem to be warning me, but of what, I do not know.

There is security knowing that I belong somewhere in that spectrum–I’m the moldy post-grad, pre-first job not-a-kid-nor-an-adult. I stare at walls for a living, pro bono. I learn a lot all the while, but feel anxious to apply. I try to close my eyes and imagine a God whose concern is active although I know once I open my eyes again, I’m still in my poorly ventilated room covered in dirty laundry, books, and cups with dietcoke-turned-mold.

But hey! It was Mother’s Day recently (yes I’m going to stick with that transition). I’ve been itching to cook for awhile since I’ve not touch the stovetop since coming home. I decided I was over sending flowers whose prices and deaths are more inconvenient than their lives are beautiful. So, cioppino it was! I will pass on modesty and say this was the greatest thing that has ever come from my hands. (I know I’m making it sound like I handmade the scallops and invented clams. Entertain me).

But hey! (yes, used it again) I have a great mother who hasn’t told me to clean my room yet and delivers free and delicious meals on a timely basis, none of which I deserve. Happy Mother’s Day–you shall be awarded with a plate of salad and some tiramisu as payment for 22 years of labor.

edit: By the way, this lil blog just reached 5,000 hits as of a few minutes ago. Thanks to all of you guys who have chosen this blog among so many others you could use to distract yourself from work and lecture. Get an extra-shot in your coffee today, on me =).