So for those who bet that I would fail the “Getting Jen’s Ish Together” challenge, you all just got a little richer (congrats, dad). I’ll spare you the lame excuses as to why I suck and just pack my bags, leave the mansion, and flick the cameras off on the way. But these past few weeks weren’t all in vain — I lended a hand on a project, and from it gained a couple bucks that will immediately go to buying a pair of bridesmaids shoes which I shall recycle unmercilessly in the workplace until a promotion. Also, in the “getting healthy” department, I’ve started drinking a lot of water habitually, and water is life, so really, I’ve gained so much life. There’s so much win amidst the lose. You just gotta look really hard.

I'm almost done reading every one of these of its series. All personally autographed copies from the author, of course. That's how we do in WeHo.
I’m really here to announce something I’ve discovered that I absolutely rock at. Isn’t that what blogs are for — to impress people with your cool skills and fun life events? So it first started off with Curious George and Fancy Nancy picture books. And suddenly after a one month, once my talent was discovered and ever so acknowledged by two young girls, we’ve graduated to 100 pagers.
Friends, I master reading bedtime stories.
The girls are suckers for any type of story. They grip the fringes of their baby blankets while I moisten my mouth with Diet Coke and speed through the pages, belching bubbly juice after every few stanzas. I treasure these moments because besides TV, this is the only activity that keeps the girls quiet and from completely destroying each other (little girls apparently are Ultimate Demolition Machines). I also treasure these moments because, heck, I ADORE stories.
One can say I unfail so hard at this that I’ve grown quite haughty over my ability to switch voices for each character, insert dramatic pause at the right moments, and tickle other moments with a pinch of laughter. I’m not a mother, neither am I a goose, but wouldn’t even know this if you saw me in action.
I was reveling in the glory of my readership skills one day that I realized, c’mon Jen, let’s take it up a notch. I bet you could come up with better stories than the ones you are dictating. I mean, Harry Potter? Please.
So to add onto the list of Things To Do Before I Die, I’ve got “write a children’s book”. It’s right after “get your freaking car repairs done already”, so let’s say it’s a 50/50 chance it’ll actually happen.

